Drum roll, maestro, please … THE DRAGON IN THE DRAIN is out!

Dragon in the Drain Cover High Res

I hear the sound of fanfares, party poppers, fireworks, and champagne corks. Possibly even some raucous singing. THE DRAGON IN THE DRAIN is live on Amazon.

Not only that, but for ONE WEEK ONLY you can get it for the absolute bargain price of just 99 pence!

Share the news, people! Spread the word!

It’s available here if you’re in the UK, or here if you’re in the US. It’s available in lots of other places too, but you’ll have to search your local Amazon yourself if you’re elsewhere. Come on now, I can’t do everything for you.

At the moment, THE DRAGON IN THE DRAIN is only available as an ebook. If you’re chomping at the bit to get your hands on a print copy, please be patient. It’s in progress!

Thank you so much for your support so far, and I hope you enjoy THE DRAGON IN THE DRAIN. If you do, then please – tell me, tell your friends, tell your hairdresser, your postman, your next door neighbours and all your friends on social media. Tell EVERYONE. If you don’t – well, socialising is tiring isn’t it? Sometimes it’s just nice to stay in. On your own.

If you have any queries or comments, you can contact me via all the usual places, or you can email me at hello@janecooperbooks.com.

And now … I’m off for a nap.

 

 

Where’s THE DRAGON IN THE DRAIN?

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve had a few people ask me things like, “Oi, didn’t you say you were publishing a book? So where the heck is it? WAS IT ALL A DREAM?”

These people are beginning to worry (or possibly hope) that they imagined the whole thing.

THE DRAGON IN THE DRAIN is still coming soon. Promise. So what’s the delay, Cooper?

Well, I’ve been writing for years. But I’ve been publishing for never. And what I didn’t know before now is that when you prepare to publish, you create accidental side effects. Without realising, the further you travel down the road that is signposted “Edits”, you change reality and brew certain scientific conditions that are perfect for the replication and rapid growth of a certain kind of virus-like creature. It’s actually frightening how quickly these beasts can get a grip on your life and infiltrate your work. They run amok, leaving your writing battered and bruised. Sometimes they even leave it for dead. The worst thing is, they have the power to blind you to their very existence so you can’t even see them, no matter how hard you look. Then, when you finally believe you’re ready to publish, they cruelly reveal themselves at the very last moment: usually seconds after you’ve saved a file called, “FINAL final draft, definitely final, absolutely without question THIS ONE IS THE FINAL DRAFT!” That’s when they appear. And then they have a party.

Yes. That’s right. When you head towards publishing, no matter how many protective barriers you erect to protect yourself, no matter what convoluted steps you take to keep them at bay, you suddenly find that you’re an expert at something you never even set out to learn at all: breeding typos.

Some of them have probably spawned themselves in the time it’s taken to write this blog post. I’ve already deleted several. But these things have had the same qualities bestowed upon them by the universe as odd socks in washing baskets and plastic carrier bags kept under the sink: they are able to reproduce without human intervention. We are in constant battle to keep invasion at bay. This is serious stuff, people.

So, back to THE DRAGON IN THE DRAIN. It’s currently in the hands of a very experienced, absolutely merciless literary warrior. She is conducting a special purification process that involves hunting down every last critter and expelling it and all its friends and relatives from existence. That’s right. She’s a member of the most remorseless, pitiless, unforgiving group of people in the world: a proofreader.

So, THE DRAGON IN THE DRAIN is in the final stages of scrutiny, and it really is almost ready for release. Stay patient, faithful potential readers. I’m grateful for your stoicism.

Meanwhile, I’ve started writing the next book, which will be a sequel to THE DRAGON IN THE DRAIN. Exciting news! Hurrah! Six thousand words and a mere 476,000 typos so far.

 

Another THE DRAGON IN THE DRAIN teaser: Bonus scene!

Hurrah! Another little teaser for THE DRAGON IN THE DRAIN!

This short bonus scene is an extra, just for you. It doesn’t appear in the book. But it gives you an insight to events that DO take place in the book from a different character’s perspective. But what exactly has been going on?

Gladys Atkins sat at her dressing table and examined her reflection in the chipped white-rimmed oval mirror. She gave her head an experimental wobble; the front left roller was loose again. She pulled out the hair grip, repositioned the roller and re-inserted the pin. That was better. Only when her scalp ached was she satisfied that her rollers were tight enough. She rarely took them out, except on special occasions. If you took them out every morning, you had to put them back in again every night, and she certainly didn’t have time for that. But you never knew when a special occasion might surprise you. It didn’t do to be unprepared. Gladys Atkins had been waiting for a special occasion to surprise her for twenty-five years. She tied a brightly coloured headscarf around her head, tucking the corners in neatly.

It had been a strange breakfast. Last night Gerald had been angrier than she’d ever seen him, and that was saying something. He was a volcano of a man, her husband, ready to erupt with fury at any given moment, without warning. His mild-mannered, newspaper-reading spectacle-wearing persona fooled a lot of people, but it had never fooled her. She knew a wild spirit when she saw one. And she knew that one day he would reveal it and prove her right.

Wilf had been subdued too. At least at breakfast he’d stopped all that nonsense he’d been talking last night. Dragons, indeed. Silly boy. What had possessed him to think he could get away with it? And what had all that hiding behind the curtains been about? She wondered if her son’s friendship with young Alf Lomax had anything to do with it. He’d always seemed a nice enough boy but his mother was very odd. Never talked about her personal life at all, and dodged all the questions about her marriage. There were very few mysteries in Gribble, but that was one of them. Gladys had always made sure she’d been very sensitive when she’d asked Mrs Lomax about how her husband had died, and she had still taken offence. Every time. She was one of those over-sensitive types, Gladys supposed. It was surprising how many of them there were about. He’d died years ago, after all. If you were a widow, surely you had to expect that people would be interested in your story. It was rude, really, to refuse to discuss it. If Gerald died, she’d never stop telling people all about it in great detail. But then she was a generous soul. It was just her nature.

She puckered her lips and applied a slick of red lipstick. She gave her head a final wobble, just to make sure, and then, satisfied that her rollers were in place for the day, rose from the little velvet stool and left the room.

 

 

 

THE DRAGON IN THE DRAIN teaser: What’s happening in Gribble?

If you wander around the village of Gribble, you can pick uGribble Chronicle articlep some interesting clues about what’s going on there. This crumpled sheet of paper blown out of a dustbin behind the local newspaper office is very revealing. This article is a little difficult to read in its original form, so the text is copied out for you below.

RAGING INFERNO ENGULFS VILLAGE SCHOOL

BY BARRY PIGGLESWORTH, JUNIOR REPORTER  

A major fire at the village school has caused mayhem among staff and pupils today.

The inferno, believed to have started under mysterious circumstances in a sports bag situated in a cloakroom this morning, was dealt with courageously by Mr Bertram Splodge, chief fire officer for Gribble village. Mr Splodge, who described his age to our reporter as “still young enough to beat you in a race to the pub, Sonny Jim,” said of the blaze, “luckily for everyone involved, my new Fire Cart 3000 boasts the best technology available and as such is now equipped with a small blanket as well as the regulation buckets of water and sand. That Miss Dagger did try to prevent me from entering the scene of the fire, but I reminded her that once a call has been made, the fire service is obliged to see the job through. She wasn’t very happy, I can tell you, but as I said to her, rules are rules. I had a job to do and I did it, in spite of her sticking her nose in. Oh, you won’t put that bit in the paper, though will you? Not that I’m scared of her of course, nothing like that. But, well, you know what she’s like.”

The Chronicle understands that the fire resulted in Miss Bovina Wishbone’s class being evacuated to the playground and forced to remain there for several minutes. A sports towel was incinerated to such a degree that it could not be saved and several children claimed to be so traumatised that they needed to go home, but were disappointed to be returned to the classroom and told to continue with their fractions. The Chronicle also contacted Miss Mortillda Dagger, headmistress, for her comments on the situation. She said, “For pity’s sake, not this again. Is there no real news to report these days? I don’t know what they pay you for at that newspaper. I hope you’re not taking any notice of that fool and his ridiculous cart. Tell your editor if he doesn’t start minding his own business he’ll have me to answer to and —That’s enough, Barry. Don’t send this to print. Ed.

Fire in the school? Well now. What could possibly have caused that?

Come back soon for more teasers!

 

Not long now until THE DRAGON IN THE DRAIN!

Wow.

So, that’s been an exciting couple of days!

The response to the announcement of the forthcoming publication of THE DRAGON IN THE DRAIN has been amazing. I’m grateful for each and every supportive and encouraging comment, tweet, post and share. Thank you to every single person who has helped me spread the news , and please keep telling your friends. In fact, why not tell people you don’t like, too? They’re not that bad, are they? Be fair. They don’t deserve to miss out.

I’m due to make final edits to the book next week, and then once it’s been formatted it’ll be ready to go. I’ll be sending out an email to my mailing list to as soon as I have a date for publication so sign up to receive the updates!

I’ve been asked a fair few questions over the last couple of days, and a couple keep popping up again and again.

Firstly, people are asking about the reader age range for THE DRAGON IN THE DRAIN, and I’d say the answer to that is probably from about age 8 or 9 and upwards. That’s just a guide of course. I just wrote a book that I would enjoy reading myself, and I’m much older than 8 or 9. But hey, no-one’s too old for dragons, right?

The other question that keeps recurring is whether THE DRAGON IN THE DRAIN will be available as an e-book or a paperback. The answer to that is that it will definitely be available as an e-book and it will also be available as a paperback if that’s what the readers want! The publishing processes are separate, so the e-book will be available first. I’d love people to get in touch and let me know if they would prefer a paperback version (no obligation – I’m just trying to get a general idea of how much demand there would be). You can comment here on the blog, or on my Facebook Author Page,  tweet me at @janecooperbooks, or even email me at hello@janecooperbooks.com if you prefer.

Thanks for your support so far, and I can’t wait to hear from you!